Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
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