im calling her cock vulture from now on
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize