Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
