I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize