We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize