Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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