I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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