Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
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