I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize