You just made me feel so damn special
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Randomize
