So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize