how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
