Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
