We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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