I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
