ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
