you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
and you fell through a lawn chair
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
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