can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
