Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
