How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
