He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
