It's Friday. Sex?
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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