dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
