just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I'm always down for nudity.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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