Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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