I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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