When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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