ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
