Having a random hookup so left but love u
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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