she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
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