nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
