I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
