I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize