You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
