he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
