wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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