I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Randomize
