I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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