have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
