Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
