Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
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