Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
