He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
