this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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