grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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