Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
