trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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