HIV tests are more positive than that guy
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Randomize
