yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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