no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Randomize
