I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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