last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
You made out with two different species that night
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
