it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
