i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
