Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
