so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
