Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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