There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Randomize
