I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
